A few nights ago I was hanging out with my daughter and a few of her middle school friends at the carnival unassumingly walking just far enough behind them so as to not let on that they were being chaperoned. After a few jolting whirls around the swings, carousel, and The Love Machine, they decided it was best to ditch the carny food and head to Denny’s for a gab sesh on all things middle school: boys, lipgloss, and the latest terroristic threat to their school.
I found myself taking part in a similar conversation a few weeks ago in New York City at a conference. A young college student spoke candidly about her experience growing up in Syria. Her father and mother brought her to The United States after her own school was shot at by the opposition. I remember thinking how terrible that must have been for her to live through that experience as she recounted how she lived in fear going to school each day and now I found myself listening to my own daughter speak candidly about Uvalde and her own fear while drizzling syrup over chocolate pancakes.
“Did you hear about the school shooting that was supposed to happen at our school on Thursday”, her friend said. “I didn’t hear about it until my parents got an email saying everything was okay and that the threat was taken care of, “ my daughter lamented. “That’s so sad what happened at Uvalde. Do you know if they tore down the school? It’s not even that far from here. I’d be so afraid but I keep thinking that if that happened at school that I would jump through the window if I could but if I couldn’t I’d just run and zigzag like my mom told me,” the 12 year old middle school girl detailed- yes a 12 years old American girl.
It wasn’t the topic alone that grieved my spirit; it was how they nonchalantly went from the mass murder of children five hours from home to comparing their lipglosses strewn across the table.
It meant they had normalized mass murder in schools.
Like polio and smallpox, school shootings is a public health crisis and can be eliminated but first we have to value the living and then two things must happen: we must believe that our communities are not exempt from a school shooting happening and two, believe that we can eliminate school shootings and work collectively towards a super complex multi-faceted solution.
And yes, I believe part of the solution is common sense gun reform like waiting periods (because anger and momentary hopelessness really are fleeting) , banning particular weapons and accessories that have the ability to deconstruct God's perfect children into fragments similar to the shrapnel left behind, funding mental health resources in schools and community, creating and supporting sound policy that puts children first, and taking the time to authentically love and care for each other in microsystems like families, churches, civic orgs, classrooms, and workspaces. Oh and of course the big one: coming to a deep understanding that we are not against the protection of the 2nd Amendment- we are simply for our children and both can be true.
I must confess that even as I journal I find myself unsure about my proposition, mostly because I don't know the answer, but what I do know is that the human condition has endured much more and together we've eliminated so many systematic ailments- and it all started with believing. Like Marie Forleo, author of "Everything is Figureoutable", says, everything can be figured it out but first it begins with belief that it can be.
So here's where we stand: we can let the last 23 years of school shootings be part of our history, albeit dismal, and not let it take root in our future. Our country is big but our families and communities are small- so that's where we start. We start at home and then in our schools and then in our cities and counties. We insist on decision makers taking this public health crisis seriously and take action because the solution is nestled somewhere between our kitchen table, our classroom, and the steps of the capitol. And as we search we must simultaneously heal ourselves from complacency, unbelief, and the hopelessness that got us here in the first place.
As we build a meaningful coalition locally to combat school shootings, I'd appreciate you sharing any experiences you're having in your locally community to do the same by leaving a comment.
Dalinda is a mother, leader in the youth development space, and trustee for her local college relentlessly pursuing goodness for every human by bringing people together to solve complex community problems. Follow her on social media @soy_dalinda
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